Sunday, 20 December 2015

A Life in Flux

Well this is awkward.
I promised you posts every day and December and I managed to keep that promise for a measly three days. Whoops.
I hate to fall back on my usual excuses but the reasons I haven't been writing are simply that I haven't had very much of interest to write about. Recently life has consisted of;

  1. Working
  2. Planning a wedding.
  3. Throwing strops about how much it costs to organise a wedding.
  4. Working some more to relieve the intense financial anxiety induced by wedding planning.
  5. Thinking about going out for a run.
  6. Realising that it's dark outside and deciding to stay inside and watch Gilmore Girls instead
  7. Considering the fact that watching five hours' worth of Gilmore Girls probably isn't really fulfilling my life's potential.
  8. Worrying about not fulfilling my life's potential.
  9. Repeating steps one through eight daily.
As the number of days remaining in 2015 grows ever smaller, I'm feeling a bit ambivalent about this year, which is a fairly marked difference to this triumphant round up of 2014. As years go, 2015 has been a strange one. It started off with a dramatic change of career for me, which has meant piecing together an income from three separate jobs at times. It has been tough and at times, has felt like a huge jump back in terms of my career and as a result there has been much soul searching throughout 2015.
Then there was an attempt to start afresh in a completely new field and that didn't quite work out for financial reasons. Financial worries, thankfully, have rarely featured in my adult life but these past five months have been full of them.  Alongside my career changes, Ryan has been building his own design studio. Starting a business is a huge change in mind-set and so, the impact on our little household has been massive.
And yet, it would be wrong to write 2015 off as simply a tough year. Money and careers are not the sum of a life and there have been plenty of wonderful moments to reflect back on.
Firstly, there were lots of opportunities for me to try out some new activities for the blog including
Edinburgh Leisure Aerial Assault Course
A Personal Training session with Edinburgh Leisure
A trip to Go Ape, Aberfoyle
There were also more achievements than I might, at first, acknowledge when I reflect back on this year. Those include successfully navigating to and then climbing another Munro, completing another obstacle course event and also completing my first half marathon and in a fairly respectable time too!
2015 was a great year for exploring. I explored Edinburgh quite a lot, writing about that here, here and here. Dundee also featured on the blog on a couple of occasions, as did the Cairngorms, East Wemyss, a random collection of other places in Scotland and, of course, Rome.
Last, but not least, 2015 was the year that Ryan proposed and we started planning our wedding.
This year has been a challenging one in a different way to 2014 but it has also been every bit as fun. The challenges I've faced this year have taught me some pretty crucial lessons. I now have a better idea of the things I like, and more importantly, the things I don't. I have a firmer idea of what I might like to do for a living and less shame about not living up to the ideas I held previously about what a successful life looked like. I'm more appreciative of my life outside of work than I've ever been and I'm trying hard to recognise my past achievements rather than constantly pushing onto the next one.
With regards to the blog, I've been thinking a lot about that over the past month. There's nothing like telling readers that you'll write every day to bring about a confidence crisis in terms of content. So, I've been looking back over the posts that I'm most proud of, and thinking about the reasons I originally started this blog and in 2016 I'll be focusing a bit more on returning to that. I definitely won't promise to write every day though. We've all seen how that turns out.

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